Our spare time in Pleven was spent in one of only a few places... Firstly our breaks were always spent in the legendary supermarket called life down the road from the institute.
Grigor, Ruth and i would wonder through picking up the most random Bulgarian food and the staple coffee milk carton. Something that became somewhat of an addiction and comfort drink. Man it was so good..
We would come back and sit outside Grigors office on this dingy, barred balcony that resembled something you would see in a horror film.
When i think about the space we were in it was actually a really depressing place but we had so much fun! we would sit and listen to music, teach Grigor stupid English words, imitate the worst Bulgarian accent we could do... munch on the food and talk about life in general.
When the day had finished we would walk through the streets, different alleys and turns seeing the same people day in day out. I had two favoruites... firstly were the 4 old women that sat on a bench a few doors from the institute that i would joke everyday were the bulgarian Destinys child. Waving and smiling at them as i passed, something that no one does in Bulgaria in the street i must add! they would all light up and grin back at me... i was dying to sing a a Beyonce song with them including the random Bulgy words i knew...
My second fav being the old man that sat on stool on one of the side roads, we passed him everyday and i said to Grigor that it was my mission to get the man to smile and say hello to me at least once in the week.
First i said hello and got ignored, the next time i got a nod, then i get a nod and a hello, then a nod hello and hand gesture... then on the very last afternoon walking back he tried to stand up with his walking stick smiled said hello and offered me a peach from his tree!!! haha i was astounded and definitely won a free drink from Grigor on our last night!
As meanial as this was it made me think how people are just so frightened to speak to one on another here, it must come from its communism past and the dangers of your neighbour spying on you.
It seems this has just been carried on despite the collapse of communism being 15 years ago, it made me realise that not all people there are miserable and unfriendly there just frightened.
Everything we did in that week i look back on as such happy, treasured memories and would go back there in a heart beat if i could. I have so much to be thankful for to all of those children, to Grigor and Ruth. That week they truly taught me what was important in my life and what my purpose was.
The Grand Old Duke Of York meets Sector 4
Sector 4 is home for the children in the institute who can walk without assistance and my goodness do you know it! When you walk into a room full of these children who swarm towards you begging for attention and someone to play with them.
They are full of so much energy and yet they have never been taught how to play with each other and so the only chance they get to be ‘normal’ children is when volunteers are with them! The most exhausting hour of playing, dancing and singing ensues with each child doing everything they can to be the one having that precious moment of one-on-one interaction.
Although severely underdeveloped, you can see such potential in these children if there was any way for them to leave the care system . . . there is no underlying disability merely a lack of opportunity.
It is with this thought that it is truly sickening to see how these children are treated by the carers. One day when we were in the orphanage Grigor had bought some paddling pools for the children – a chance for them to experience something which seems like such a normal childhood activity but is so far distanced from the experience of childhood these kids have had. The carers herded the children out onto the balcony where the paddling pool was and proceeded to dump the children into the water upon which many started to cry from the shock. This seem to make the carers annoyed but instead of letting the children get out, they shouted at them, forced them to sit in the water and splashed water at them – it seemed like they were determined they would make the children have ‘fun’ since it was fun on their terms. It was beyond heartbreaking to see an activity which could have been a precious ray of sunshine in the monotony of these children’s lives turn into punishment for not enjoying it the way the carers wanted them to enjoy it. This was the one break from a life of being in a room with nothing to do other than rock: being forced to sit in soaking wet clothes with 10 other crying children being shouted at for not feeling the way they were ‘supposed’ to feel.
On the opposite end of this we spent wonder-us hours wooshing them through the air singing the grand old duke of york 10,000 times, tickling them, playing chase with them, covering them in dressing up clothes. Oh the list is endless, as i said before these are beautiful little children that are just dying to be played with like any child there age would.
The majority of this sector who are able are the lucky ones, they still have a chance. If they are saved soon.
Bringing it back to basics on Sector one
Sector 1 is the home for the youngest babies in the orphanage, these babies are adorable little things which you pick up and cuddle and sing to like you would any child. You look into their beautiful faces and wonder how anyone could give them up.
Parents are led to believe that they are giving their children a better life but it’s hard to imagine they know they are passing on their children to live in a place like this and to inherit the future it holds for them.
These babies have had the least amount of time in social care and so most show the smallest amount of signs of institutionalisation. However, it is clear even from this early age that they have not received the attention and care needed for proper development. Even before 1 year of life has passed the babies start the rocking backwards and forwards that may be their main method of stimulation for the rest of their lives. These babies will not cry when they are wet, soiled or covered in milk they have bought back up after being fed lying on their backs. They know already that when they cry, no-one comes. The only time they will cry is when you stop holding them. It is absolutely heartbreaking to give so much love to these gorgeous children and then have to walk away and see them cry out for the attention they crave so badly. But then you have to realise that there are 3 more rooms of babies rocking.
Something that stands out for me about the orphanage is the pictures on the wall. All around are photos and paintings of smiling, healthy children. It is eerie to see these photos contrasted to the children who live in the home. This is how children should look and if given care and attention in a family environment, these are the children that the babies in sector one could become.
The babies on sector 1 are the ones who fill you with so much despair as you can see in each one what they will become if they stay in institutional care. However, they are also the ones who fill you with the most hope. If plans for deinstitiutionalisation are carried out properly and these children are placed either into loving homes or homes where they receive proper care, these are the children who have the most potential for the future. There are so many childrens, situations that keep you so motivated to create change. For me the babies on sector one just brang it back to basics and reminded you that before all of trauma and neglect damages these children they were all brought into the world just like you and i, and just like you and i they deserve the right to be loved.
One of the one comforting things that i do often is read the blogs from the parents that have adopted children from the institutes, it is litterally mindblowing how these children have changed.
I can't express enough how children have been adopted with distorted limbs with little sign of life to normal happy healthy children.. i have posted a link below of one of my favourites - scroll down and look at the beginning photos of Verity and what she looks like now.
This alone reminds you that despite all of the above things can really be changed with what you might think are the most damaged of children.
http://theblessingofverity.com/
Unfortunately we weren't allowed to take any photos of the children or near the institute but i have attached a few of where we stayed for you.
I have one more blog to post on my time within the institute and what has happened since i arrived home... i hope the read inspires and informs you.
Thank you again for taking the time to read. It means the world and more.
Hells x
 |
| The Standard Volunteer Balcony Breakfast |
| Our Flat in Pleven - Snazzy Sofas. |
 |
| My Bulgarian Bedroom |
 |
| First day in Sofia |
