Coming home.

I begun my yoga teacher training 5 weeks ago now at the beautiful Sukha Mukha studio in Bronte here in Australia. If I think about the shifts that have taken place within me and around me it feels like 5 years ago. I have 16 new additions to my family all from this liberating, emotional and exciting journey.

It's so much more then what you may think a yoga teacher training entails. Well, I guess some of them are just focused on being able to teach the perfect handstand but for Sukha Mukha, and many others out there, it is filled with all different avenues into yoga philosophies. Avenues into how we can access our higher selves and access the divine.

A word that kinda freaked me out at first but now makes so much sense. When we think about god, the divine, our highest self it can be anything. From us in our joyous, happiest and most wonderful self, to a higher being that we can believe in or devote ourselves to. Be it your children, your parents, a particular god or just the universe.
 

Sharon Gannon of Jivamukti Yoga

 The word god no longer makes me run a mile. Instead it has taken form in a way I can understand (one that doesn’t always have to mean jesus). It’s a really beautiful concept and one I have taken into my yoga practice and, little by little, my life. Instead of practicing for a firmer bum (that of course is nice), I dedicate my energy and love towards my nephew, my mum, the universe or anyone that may need it. They are all the divine.

I have always believed in something up and out there but never really knew what it was. I think a lot of us do but, with the loading placed on some words like god, guru or even spirituality, we shy away from labeling it. Finally embracing yoga philosophy has led me to break that and call It my own divine, my higher self. This journey and all the people I have met within it have given me permission to embrace all of these things that I was once afraid of.

 

From the moment I sat down on that cushion on the first day in awe of all these beings beside me, I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. I’m not really sure I have ever had that feeling in its entirety before. Perhaps in a fragmented form, but I think for most part my noisy mind would have been wandering off to somewhere else I could or should have been. I can't even describe what it felt like. It was like I was experiencing a few moments of enlightenment. No, I wasn’t levitating in India with gurus, I was sat on a floor in Bronte!

It was right after our teacher had spent around an hour introducing herself, being generous with her story and experiences thus far.  She is raw, real and feisty with passion, kindness and compassion bursting out of her like fireworks. I could listen to her talk for days. She reminded us how perfect we all are and to let go of any expectations we may have or worries that we had brought in the door. Just to remain exactly as we are because that’s enough. We are enough: Complete and perfect exactly how we are, whatever and however that may be. All we had to do was to show up and give everything we had in that given moment. Nothing more and nothing less.

Now, for me and I’m sure for most people, that was the first time I have been into any kind of environment especially a learning one and been told that I am exactly where I need to be, exactly as I am, with everything I need within me. And those words were said with compassion and from a completely genuine place. This feeling of utter relief poured over me like finally there was nothing to live up to, no one to try and be or conform to. Reminding me that wherever I am in this journey, be it a bad place or a fabulous one, it was ok. It was valid.

She said many things after that but all I remember is looking around me at all these faces, soaking up the energy in that space, in that moment and feeling totally at home. Finally I was home not to a particular place but to a feeling.

Those words weren't merely thought but felt in my heart in their entirety. Finally, all those doubts of: Am I ready for this? Am I good enough? All the same boring noise that has filled my mind for so long, that fills most of ours minds for so long just floated away and I knew I had arrived exactly where I was always going to. To yoga.

Until the next time - Love and light.

Hells.x

 

 

 

Beauty in the 'Boring'

I think inspiration can come from any source. Mostly we look for it in things that are seemly complete or wholesome, somewhere or someone that we want to be like in its final ‘perfect’ form. It’s shiny, pretty and abundant. Well this last few months here in Wollongong whilst delving into my yoga teacher training i have also been on another journey. An unintentional one of being inspired and humbled by the opposite of all those things. Inspired by the mundane, the ‘normal’ and for the best part, the people/places that society deem boring.

I have worked in countless offices over the last few years, different towns, countries and industries with every Tom, Dick and Harry you can think of. All for the cause of earning money for the next trip. Whilst the travelling has opened my eyes and mind to a whole new world, equally so has the work imbetween.  When I think back at how often I dreaded this part of the travelling lifestyle it was actually a journey within itself. One that restored my faith in people, in the unsung heros or inspirations of the communities that we all live in.

Recently I have been working in an office with people that I haven’t really ever spent an extended period of time with. People that have only ever worked in that office there whole working lives, in the same town and for the best part don’t own passports. I was guilty at first of exchanging pleasantries and defaulting to keeping myself to myself, saying the hellos and how are you then never really going much further. Until one day a month I sat there and thought, I come into this room for 8 hours a day 5 days a week but know nothing about these people that sit within 10ft of me? Sure I know their names and what they did roughly this weekend but that’s it? All these people have stories, unique lives all unfolding in totally different ways. Why am I not getting to know them? Learning from them? Being inspired or inspiring them?

It got me thinking how many times I have done this, that we have all done this! The person that you buy your coffee off of everyday, that serves you in the supermarket or sits next to you from a different department in the lunch room. How do we know they are not the next Elizabeth Gilbert, Leona Lewis or just a really blady good person of tomorrow? Now im not suggesting that everyone is going to be the next big thing or that indeed they need to be. My point is that there is this whole world of people that we could be connecting with that we don’t. In our age we are so drawn to the ‘inspiring blogs, Instagram or facebook accounts when really the inspiration is on our doorstep, in our faces everyday but are we really embracing it?

Since embarking on this journey, I made a promise to not be irritated by the different ways the people I work with, instead to be patient and embracive of them. To listen and be a little more caring or open toward them. What I have found has been so humbling, inspiring, on occasions moved me to tears and without a shadow of a doubt reminded me yet to again that there is so much beauty in the seemily mundane.

 

Hellsx

TBT - Living and learning..

Throwback Thursday takes us to Broome Australia today, where i originally went to finish my regional work at a 5 star resort on the coast. 
WWoofing is where you work for 5-6 hours a day and receive food and accommodation in return. It counts towards the 3 months regional work you need to complete in order to gain your second year working holiday visa.
Once my month WWoofing was finished and staff had suddenly departed i stepped into head housekeeping role for 2 months. I wrote this towards the end of my time there in Feb 2014...

 

Life at the resort isn't going to fast that i'm missing it and it's not dragging so i wish i could leave already. I'm really happy at how i have really been totally present in my experience here. It really is a world within a world that you have no choice but to be here. No phone signal and very limited wifi, we have walky talkies, our own tents, all meals are made for us and we all work with each other in the same spaces everyday. You are totally and utterly here, present in every sense.
For the most part i have loved it, no traffic to deal with, no supermarkets to go through, no being a slave to your i phone, no noise at night ( well apart from the bugs) it takes out so many of the little daily things we do in life that take so much of our time and for the best part you wish you were doing something else.
I like the feeling of being apart of something, all different types of people all pulling together to make something work. 

I have had many moments of reflection here, driving around in my little buggy listening to the whistles of the sea whilst i hot step my way between cleaning villas. I wanted to share a few with you; 

Firstly it reinstates that the more experience you have with different people in different places, organizations etc that most people are just winging it and really dont have much of an idea what they are doing in most areas. 
We look at people, companies etc and think wow they must be so clever, so rich, so whatever... well no not really. Everyone is just plodding along learning as they go.. taking a little bit more on to see what they are capable of. They might be humble and admit it in which case we are usually inspired by there strength or they are screaming from the hilltops how great they are and look at what they do etc.. but when they close the door to that office they too sit there thinking holy s%! how did i or will i pull that off???
I would say to anyone no matter what age or situation to experience everything and everyone you can, nothing is above you and nothing should ever be below you. We can all bite off, flourish or just attempt a lot more then we currently chew, business or non business wise.

Secondly, learning to let go of problems that aren't yours. I think we do this alot, we worry when we are at work understaffed, that the workload is to much for one person, whether we did something wrong or right etc. If you did that here you would be terrorized in paradise because most things don't run to plan  but why should i be worrying so much about it? it isn't my role to worry about things that aren't my responsibility. I don't own the worlds problems and in this case i certainly don't own the resorts. I appreciate this sounds like i don't work outside of my job spec, not at all, i am all for team work.  Pulling together in times of need and helping anywhere and anyone i can but there is distinct difference in doing this and taking on stress that doesn't belong to you. Do what you can with what you have, then let go.

Let go.

I havent really looked in a mirror, put make up, deodorant on or picked an outfit to wear in a good 3 months. I have said it a million times but its so liberating! You are so cut off from the world, society isnt able to tell you how you should look or what you should feel because you dont have the access to read it. 
You aren't sizing yourself up next to anybody else because you all wear the same clothes everyday with the same sweaty faces. Instead of watching people physically moving past me all day everyday i feel like i just see there hearts, there inner beings. I am so blessed to work with such gorgeous human beings, people i would want to be surrounded by regardless of being here. The fact that i am able to spend so much time with them is such a blessing and it is wonderful to cut the usual layer that you usually have to go through to get to know people. We are all open and vulnerable to each other which is just magical. I think to myself that if we practiced this method in everyday life we would be so much freer, so much less consumed by things that don't matter. I want to hold onto this perspective and keep it going long after i leave here..
Loving people for who they are not what they have and loving yourself not because the image in the mirror coming back at you is what you think 'looks good' but because you feel good from the inside and that in turn shines on your face from the outside.


I so thankful for all of this, for what this year has brought me and taught me. I always think that when you go through things, emotionally, different jobs, different living experiences it connects you to a whole new group of people. I understand how it feels to be lonely, depressed. I know what its like to clean poo off the toilet, i know how hard it is working in a manual job in the heat. To live with wild animals with no cold water in 40 degrees.
Some of these are menial some are impactful but nonetheless i understand what a whole new world of people go through everyday. It changes how i view people, how i treat them and the things i do everyday. That for me is the best feeling ever, i can connect with people that i couldnt before. 
I can help them if they are going through any of it, i can make sure i strip that bed when i leave a hotel room ( and ill think yes housekeeping is going to love me when she comes in to find i made her day a whole load easier - i scream and hollar when guests do that for me) i can make someone feel better directly or indirectly through these experiences. That to me is everything. 

 

Love and light.

Hells  xo

F!$% Conforming

It was in the car last week when I was searching for an email that I stumbled across some old diaries to my friends. I write about everything from things im feeling, the mundane to the exciting, my hopes and dreams, when im feeling really low and when I want to share a huge high. Its all in that sent items folder. My recent blogs are all slightly edited emails to my friends, I never write with the intention of anyone reading it. Its only when I read them back a few days, weeks later that I realize there is something in there that people will either enjoy, learn or be inspired by. Hence why I restarted blogging a few months back. To share some of the huge learnings I have had since my initial move to Australia nearly 2 years ago. The paths I have been on, the places I have lived, people I have met and mainly how it has affected, influenced, inspired and moulded me to this girl right now.

So there I was in the car, ohhhing and ahhhing over all these emails. Remembering where I was sat when I wrote it and exactly how I felt in that moment and I thought to myself; I really want to share these. I wish I could have read this when I was going though a certain time in life!

So I have decided that with the theme in social media of Throwback Thursday each week im going to post an old email, slightly edited to make sense to those who don’t know me, that maybe or should I say hopefully will find their way to someone that needs them.
This week is from May last year, whilst I was sat in the farm house I was working in in Dallwallinu Western Australia.

 35km from the nearest sign of life, surrounded by stillness and lots and lots of field mice. Little did i know how true this realization was to become...


So many times i have heard that i should be thinking about a career, starting at the bottom of the food chain in different industries and jobs, taking corporate assholes bad attitude because that is just what you have to do in the wonderful world of work.
Well there has been this innate feeling within me from the year dot that has just developed and become stronger that no we dont! none of us! we all have full control and do not have to merely accept this way, this behavior as a way of life.

My life can and will be made up of the people, the behaviors, the attitude of the things that i love, respect and value. I don't think that essentially means i wont face people like this or that it will be surrounded by pink clouds and butterflies everyday but it will certainly be filled with a higher percentage of the things i choose.

With that said that i have gone through many roles, industries, managers, colleagues, locations that have just never given me any other feeling that i have an obligation to be there, that it was just another wage packet to see me through to something that would make me feel ever so slightly more fulfilled.
Don't get me wrong i don't think that every office is full of people that feel this way, i think its fantastic when i hear friends, family that love their jobs and the people they work with. I think it plays such a huge part of your life that you must love where and what you do.
Again i can hear people thinking that this is some sort of wanderlust i have and a worry that this is merely a lack of contentment that will never fade because 'life doesn't work like that'.
What do i think of that? to a point i agree. I think the sad thing about the world we live in today is that so many people are searching for something else constantly. Never quite happy with what they have and want to feel the grass under their feet on the other side. I don't actually believe i am one of them, if there is one thing that fills my heart it is gratitude.

Gratitude for the amazing family and friends i have flaws and all, the bed i am able to climb into every night and know that i am safe, for the people that i meet in the supermarket that smile warmly and let me go first because i only have a bottle of water versus there trolley load, for my freedom to up and leave on any plane wherever i choose to and posses all the personal and professional skills/attributes to know that i would be get by.
I appreciate some of those points might sound rather bizarre and off the wall but they are all 100% true, i see beauty and gratitude in everyday things that many people dismiss or are to busy thinking about the next thing to notice.

I have done a fair bit of travelling myself, not as much as others or for as long as others but what i have seen and soaked up thus far has been enough to let me taste different cultures, different ways of making a living and most importantly ways of making a life.
I believe the way you decide to build your life should be like anything else that you choose to create or accumulate, you don't go into a shop and buy the first thing that you see, you explore, look at different models, makes, slightly different approaches until you make an informed decision about what route to take yourself.
That's how i intend on building my life, i feel like i'm still in that research stage with every month going past i learn a new way or certain ways become instilled as the right way to go for me.

My biggest learning for my 'career' has been that it must be making a difference, be purposeful and helping people in some way. I believe this has been within me all along but has been brought to my attention by my charity work, traveling, meeting new people and having my nephews brought into my life.
All of which have shown me my emotions and how all those things make me feel, brought to light that for me the best feeling in the entire world is to know i have made someones day, lifted them, changed or at least enhanced a childs life.
It gives me a feeling of contentment, purpose and a real reason to be.I find that even when in the deepest darkest hole personally i can be completely lifted from that through helping someone else with a problem, a dilemma, or just a bad day.
I have known that for a many years now and have had different people mention going into life coaching/ counselling, i dabbled in thinking about it but wasn't totally taken with it.
The more i have gone through the past few years, seen how i have the ability to make others feel and seen what a beautiful aspect of myself that is, it feels like a really natural path to walk down and i guess what feels different now is that i am ready to actively look at how to go about living this. It feels like the right time.

I guess to many that sounds like nothing short of a standard feeling, finding something you like/love doing and diving straight in but for me it is a huge deal. A realization, i have never given myself to anything 100% unless i completely believe in it. It takes a lot from me and will always be something that i have thought about and dissected in great detail before even speaking to anyone about it.
I have never wanted to be one of those people that has a 100 new ideas everyday of all these weird and wonderful things im going to do and then never actually achieving any of them. I will have a feeling, sit with it for hours, days, months or even years and then when i'm ready i will talk about to a select few and from there slowly but surely it will come to light.
So what next for this part of self discovery? well i have written to friends that work within counselling/ life coaching asking for advice and opinions on their own journeys, looked online at different approaches etc. From this i will build the Helen Wilkes way of doing this, i already know that i want to incorporate Yoga with this with the bigger dream of opening a retreat which have all different aspects of things that make people feel good and enhances their lives.
Whether that retreat be a small office in High Wycombe to a a huge open space in the middle of Bali, the beauty of it is to me that it could be either, no limitations, nothing to conform to, just whatever i want to make of it.

Its a great feeling to have realizations such as this, its so important to take note when you have them and enjoy that feeling of getting to know and understand who you are that little bit better.


Love and light
Hells

x

Impossible is Nothing.. Angkor Wat done!

I heard a lot about that moment, the 15 seconds of insane, stupid, bravery that it takes to make a change, to embark on something you thought you couldn't, to do what everyone thinks is impossible.
As i was crossing the start line of the marathon last weekend i smiled to myself that this whole experience was based on a moment just like that. A moment where you just say forget practicality, forget whether its the 'right' time and just do it.  
The team arrived on Thursday after a 13 -15 hour plan ride from our respective countries. One team member down and a new warrior added,we landed into the 38 degree heat of beautiful Siem Reap. Eager, nervous and just dying to get to the start line and channel all these nerves and hard work into the big day.
Dinners were spent carb loading on divine Cambodian food and frozen mocktails whilst trying to hide our ' ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh what have we done???!!!!' thoughts that were dashing through our minds. Mainly around the time the heat intensity hits you and you realized you weren't here to enjoy it by the pool...

Collecting our race kit..

Our first run in Cambodia and our last before the Marathon

Wahooo bring it on!

Oh how i miss the excuse of 'carb loading'..

I managed to sleep for 2 hours the night before the race, yes, you heard right. 10pm-12am and then i was wide awake. I knew the alarm was going off at 2.15am and i was worried of passing into that deep sleep that usually hits right before your alarm goes off.
Instead i stayed awake talking to myself and imagining myself crossing the finishing line. Thinking of the money raised and reminding myself that this was the easy part now... all we have to do is walk, run or crawl to get over that finish line and we are done.

Outfits all laid our ready the night before.. eeeeek

2.15am came and i put on some dance music ( much to the disappointment of my neighbors) doused myself in a ton of deep heat and went to eat my specially made big Carby/nutty flapjack. Well, that was until i realized the ants had gotten there first! i laughed and turned to the only other food we had: a cup of coffee and half of Neils flapjack. Oh if only that was the only hiccup we faced on the day..
We arrived to the temple with music pumping in the pitch black, hardcore Asian running clubs wearing their funky satin dressing gown things that stated the 100's of marathons they had taken part in. I realized we were playing with the hardcore runners and well when you felt the heat at 4am in the morning it made sense to me why...and there we were trying to hide our scared rabbit faces behind dancing, singing and general words of enthusiasm.

4am at the start line!

The run was flat, the heat reached 37 degrees by 7am, there was no crowd at all and at times you were running with 4 or 5 other people in no mans land. It was around the same time myself and Nigels knees decided they didnt want to run anymore and most importantly when we realized that the run hadnt been mapped correctly. According to the km signs ( that were so randomly positioned we were convinced someone drunk laid them out) we were around the 9 miles/15km mark. We passed one of the only western runners who shouted to us that it was incorrectly mapped, he just wasn't sure by how much at that point. That is when the biggest mental challenge hit us all... you are running in obscene heat ( they hadn't had any rain in 6 days) your knees are going and you have no idea how much longer you are going to be running for. Where i would usually say to myself, right just push through this pain for the next x amount of km instead I was thinking ' what if i push through then i have nothing left to give towards the end? because when will the end be? I have only prepared for 26.2 miles not longer?!? I had no idea at these moments how much more a crowd gives you, someones face smiling and cheering for you to keep pushing through! we only had a group of school kids at one part of the race and there broken English sent tears to fall down my face. They reminded me of the babies we running for.

Sunrise at Angkor Wat the morning of the race

We hit the 26.2miles/42km mark at 4.40hrs but the signs put us at 21.2miles/36k which meant we still had another 5 miles to run..and that is when the inner greatness, i will not be defeated slash oh god i'm going to die at Angkor Wat came in. The hunger pangs started, the heat and sweat was burning my skin and the ambulances were driving around to pick people up that looked tired or near passing out. They had so many people collapse they were trying to prevent anymore.. i cursed there air conditioned cars and both Neil and I swore that if it kills us we are finishing this race.

Those last 5 miles took us 2 hours and I can safely say for everyone who ran that day they were nothing short of horrendous. A fellow runner who was on his 302^nd marathon was also struggling promised us that marathons aren’t usually this torturous and that by any standards it was a very challenging run.
It helped because you start to get disheartened, you have trained so hard for something and planned for a victorious finish that you start to go through stages of loosing the faith and feeling weak. Thankfully our unified mind set of simply not giving up, that it didn't matter that it was unfair, that we had technically finished the race, that our knees were swollen. We were not leaving without a medal.

13.2 Miles in!

6 hours and 10 minutes after we started we crossed the finish line and saw Sarah waiting for us, i was elated, exhausted and in tears. I felt underwhelmed that we hadn't finished strong and well a little overcome with frustration that it had ended so unfairly. Thankfully Sarah's cuddles and knowing that Nige was on his way over the finish line ( we had lost him a little over half way) kept us up. His knees were in so much pain, he had committed a huge amount to take part in so many ways that I felt responsible for the way it had gone and wanted to keep the focus on what we had achieved, not what we didn’t, that we weren’t just marathon runners.. we were ULTRA MARATHON runners. Trust me there is a very very very big difference...
We ran in the region of 30.5 miles/ 50kms according to everyone's tracking systems. We later found out the race wasn't certified by the marathon officials ( whoever they are) hence the course being so far out because no one 'official' had checked it over.

 

Definitely took us an hour to get up off the floor for this..

Our post marathon meal..

I have taken a huge amount away from this experience,the training taught me what we are made of when it comes to committing ourselves to something be it a cause, a race or a particular goal. We traveled in every country and with each one came a different set of challenges, I learnt to let all the obvious thoughts of doubt and practicality fill my mind for a few moments and then just let them go..
The thing is there will never be the 'right' time to do anything, never the perfect conditions. We are always going to be thrown curve balls and hit obstacles but there comes a time when you have to just let that be, accept things will never be 'perfect' and carry on anyway!

Otherwise how will we ever achieve anything? It didn’t matter how long it took me or where it was i just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Forget the other nonsense your mind or others want to tell you and listen to that little voice inside that whispers, you can do it.
Secondly with our fundraising, well, it has been a phenomenal response from the video. It has had the exact response I wanted; people to feel apart of it, to see what commitment it has taken, where this journey has taken us and I guess most importantly truly understand what there money was going towards.
We are bombarded with charity pages, people asking for money and there are many times where i have struggled to understand where the money is going and question if the person fundraising knows? There is a lot of glorification that comes with fundraising at times and although I am all for people raising money for charity nothing makes me more engaged and willing to give then the cause coming from someones heart, something they are genuinley passionate about and just want to help. It shines through and I hope is why we have had such success.

All this combined with the day itself, a day where things weren’t exactly 'fair' and we were thrown the biggest obstacles possible, we didn’t give up. We adapted our game plan and we powered though regardless because in the end that is what happens in life.
Things don’t go to plan, everything is constantly changing and sometimes it isnt fair but you cant just give up, well I don’t think you can. As the famous saying goes 'It isn’t the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change'

Angkor Wat 'Ultra' Marathon taught me that important lesson and I hope to carry It through into the next curve balls, obstacles or challenges life throws my way.

Thank you all for lending me your voices to spread awareness, express words of support and great kindness. For donating you hard earned cash to these beautiful children, i cant wait to update you as the process kicks into action over the following months. Thank you Thank you Thank you. x

The Final Countdown

So its 7 days until the marathon, the event that I have been talking about for 6 months but kinda forgotten that I am actually going to do. Squeal.

A moment of madness in the staff quarters at my job in Broome this February has transpired into hardcore pavement pounding the streets, beaches, rubble and main roads of 5 countries. 

Moments of pain, tiredness, excitement, beauty, achievement and sheer amazement at this insane instrument we have at our expense. Our unbelievable bodies. It has been a journey to say the very least! sitting here now I cant really believe how far I have come, from being a reasonably fit woman able to run a good 6 miles comfortably to now being a full on marathon runner. My body has astounded me, my mind has astounded me, what we are capable of as human beings has yet again blown my mind. 

There is a saying that I love, 

I believe every word, we are made up of so much greatness, so much more then we could ever begin to understand until we need to. Until those moments in life happen where we have to step upto the plate and see a personal, professional or just damn right tough challenge through. That moment where you are left speechless at what you have overcome and the strength you had inside you to do so.

There has been so many moments in the last 5 months where I have just thought I cant do this today, in India it was humid, hot, toxic with people gorping at you. In England I was busy spending precious time with friends and family, in Thailand it was wet season. We still had months to go, surely I could leave it until next week? Don't me wrong it is a blessing to be traveling but marathon training and travelling through every country in its off season is something else! Every excuse was a valid and no one would have blamed me for giving up but there was this little voice inside of me... This voice that kept whispering to me to carry on, to not give up, to just keep putting one foot infront of the other. That was all I had to do, forget the rest.

Moments like this morning where I have a bit of a panic that I have been living in Wollongong for nearly 2 months.. where did that go? Do I even really know anybody yet? Have I made the most out of my time here so far? The moment that I have every few months where I have to reassess what and why i'm doing what i'm doing and if i'm living the best way I know how. It has zoomed past so god damn fast and I kinda gotta cut myself some slack, we landed into a new town, a new house ( thankfully with some familiar faces) with little money, jobs to find to actually fund this trip to Cambodia and in the most important phase of our training. Not to mention the fact that we came to the Gong was for me to evolve my journey as an aspiring yoga teacher! With that said there has been little time to do anything but do what we need to do to make this event happen. Make money to actually get a plane ticket, train for the marathon and most importantly raise the money and funds for these souls that I hold so dearly in my heart. 

Their faces, their smiles and as I sit here in bed eating vegemite on toast we have raised £1700 for Holding out hope… that is over 8 months of care for potentially the Sofia home.  I have spent so many weeks with these amazing and worthy little beings, weeks where I have been left in despair at the thought of the progress we have made with these children being left as soon as we walked out of the door.
Every single person who has donated is a life changer in my eyes, I don’t care how extreme that sounds because it is true. I have seen it, I have felt it and I know the power of change that hiring and guiding a carer will be. It makes me want to dance and scream and be so god damn thankful that out of just running around for a few hours we have been able to help change peoples lives. Its insane and stupid to me but I am thankful for it.

My first trip to the Sofia Institute 2012

Well we did it, we achieved what we set out to do.. it took 3 weeks to get a job and 5 days a week of running to get to this point now. Trained, bruised and slightly battered but marathon ready. I have snuck as much yoga reading and practicing as I can in although it has been hard not to loose focus on the task at hand and not fall into the thing I am best at.. trying to dedicate myself to a million things at once and ending up frazzled and slightly frustrated I didn’t just do one thing and do it really well. So I have taken note this time and put my marathon training at the forefront of everything and if I have had time, the mental or physical capacity to do anything else then I have. From reading and writing yoga assignments in my lunch time to running in the dark in gale force winds then falling into the yoga class in the late evening, I am very proud and safe in the knowledge that I have done what I can with what I have. That is all you really can do in any given moment.

Im excited to get on that plane on Wednesday, im nervous but more excited to rock this challenge, get my backpack back on ( ok ok I know its only been 2 months but once a backpacker always a backpacker) and to be back in the thick of the travelling buzz, spend time with gorgeous friends and have a million petrol fuelled buckets I can get in my hands and dance until my feet fall off. It is challenge and celebration time and boy am I ready!

Once this amazing and insane challenge is over is onto the next, life for me is a series of challenges and focuses, i never want to be left to complacent and dandering for too long through my days. Don’t get me wrong its beautiful for a while but I like to always have travels, challenges, people to keep me inspired and purposeful. 

 

Im not sure what the next challenge looks like in its entirety yet, its still dancing around in my head until it gets to its final position and my gut will know where I need to go and how to do it. Until then we have a marathon to do WOOF! 

See you at the start line.....

mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/angkorwatmarathonchallenge

Hells x