So there I was in the car, ohhhing and ahhhing over all these emails. Remembering where I was sat when I wrote it and exactly how I felt in that moment and I thought to myself; I really want to share these. I wish I could have read this when I was going though a certain time in life!
So I have decided that with the theme in social media of Throwback Thursday each week im going to post an old email, slightly edited to make sense to those who don’t know me, that maybe or should I say hopefully will find their way to someone that needs them.
This week is from May last year, whilst I was sat in the farm house I was working in in Dallwallinu Western Australia.
35km from the nearest sign of life, surrounded by stillness and lots and lots of field mice. Little did i know how true this realization was to become...
So many times i have heard that i should be thinking about a career, starting at the bottom of the food chain in different industries and jobs, taking corporate assholes bad attitude because that is just what you have to do in the wonderful world of work.
Well there has been this innate feeling within me from the year dot that has just developed and become stronger that no we dont! none of us! we all have full control and do not have to merely accept this way, this behavior as a way of life.
My life can and will be made up of the people, the behaviors, the attitude of the things that i love, respect and value. I don't think that essentially means i wont face people like this or that it will be surrounded by pink clouds and butterflies everyday but it will certainly be filled with a higher percentage of the things i choose.
With that said that i have gone through many roles, industries, managers, colleagues, locations that have just never given me any other feeling that i have an obligation to be there, that it was just another wage packet to see me through to something that would make me feel ever so slightly more fulfilled.
Don't get me wrong i don't think that every office is full of people that feel this way, i think its fantastic when i hear friends, family that love their jobs and the people they work with. I think it plays such a huge part of your life that you must love where and what you do.
Again i can hear people thinking that this is some sort of wanderlust i have and a worry that this is merely a lack of contentment that will never fade because 'life doesn't work like that'.
What do i think of that? to a point i agree. I think the sad thing about the world we live in today is that so many people are searching for something else constantly. Never quite happy with what they have and want to feel the grass under their feet on the other side. I don't actually believe i am one of them, if there is one thing that fills my heart it is gratitude.
Gratitude for the amazing family and friends i have flaws and all, the bed i am able to climb into every night and know that i am safe, for the people that i meet in the supermarket that smile warmly and let me go first because i only have a bottle of water versus there trolley load, for my freedom to up and leave on any plane wherever i choose to and posses all the personal and professional skills/attributes to know that i would be get by.
I appreciate some of those points might sound rather bizarre and off the wall but they are all 100% true, i see beauty and gratitude in everyday things that many people dismiss or are to busy thinking about the next thing to notice.
I have done a fair bit of travelling myself, not as much as others or for as long as others but what i have seen and soaked up thus far has been enough to let me taste different cultures, different ways of making a living and most importantly ways of making a life.
I believe the way you decide to build your life should be like anything else that you choose to create or accumulate, you don't go into a shop and buy the first thing that you see, you explore, look at different models, makes, slightly different approaches until you make an informed decision about what route to take yourself.
That's how i intend on building my life, i feel like i'm still in that research stage with every month going past i learn a new way or certain ways become instilled as the right way to go for me.
My biggest learning for my 'career' has been that it must be making a difference, be purposeful and helping people in some way. I believe this has been within me all along but has been brought to my attention by my charity work, traveling, meeting new people and having my nephews brought into my life.
All of which have shown me my emotions and how all those things make me feel, brought to light that for me the best feeling in the entire world is to know i have made someones day, lifted them, changed or at least enhanced a childs life.
It gives me a feeling of contentment, purpose and a real reason to be.I find that even when in the deepest darkest hole personally i can be completely lifted from that through helping someone else with a problem, a dilemma, or just a bad day.
I have known that for a many years now and have had different people mention going into life coaching/ counselling, i dabbled in thinking about it but wasn't totally taken with it.
The more i have gone through the past few years, seen how i have the ability to make others feel and seen what a beautiful aspect of myself that is, it feels like a really natural path to walk down and i guess what feels different now is that i am ready to actively look at how to go about living this. It feels like the right time.
I guess to many that sounds like nothing short of a standard feeling, finding something you like/love doing and diving straight in but for me it is a huge deal. A realization, i have never given myself to anything 100% unless i completely believe in it. It takes a lot from me and will always be something that i have thought about and dissected in great detail before even speaking to anyone about it.
I have never wanted to be one of those people that has a 100 new ideas everyday of all these weird and wonderful things im going to do and then never actually achieving any of them. I will have a feeling, sit with it for hours, days, months or even years and then when i'm ready i will talk about to a select few and from there slowly but surely it will come to light.
So what next for this part of self discovery? well i have written to friends that work within counselling/ life coaching asking for advice and opinions on their own journeys, looked online at different approaches etc. From this i will build the Helen Wilkes way of doing this, i already know that i want to incorporate Yoga with this with the bigger dream of opening a retreat which have all different aspects of things that make people feel good and enhances their lives.
Whether that retreat be a small office in High Wycombe to a a huge open space in the middle of Bali, the beauty of it is to me that it could be either, no limitations, nothing to conform to, just whatever i want to make of it.
Its a great feeling to have realizations such as this, its so important to take note when you have them and enjoy that feeling of getting to know and understand who you are that little bit better.
Love and light
Hells
x
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